Fallen
by ImagineYourself64
Summary: Samifer. The story of Sam and Lucifer, beginning with them locked together in the pits of Hell to the very moment that Castiel rights the wrong he did to Sam's memories. It's a love story of how some can change and some can grow, but one that's ultimately about the effects of love in a place where it was never supposed to exist.
1. Fallen

A/N: So, this is my first Samifer fic. I was just bored one day and was thinking about Sam in Hell and this is what came out. It's pretty much my take on what it was like in Hell with some romancy-ness mixed in cause I like the idea of that. There are a few things that are in here that are different from the show (namely where Dean promises that he'll go to Lisa and in this story he promised to save Sam instead) and I just want to clear that up a little. I'm far too lazy to change that to match the actual show, though I don't remember why I originally wrote it differently.

P.S. Here's a warning for some wing!kink because I enjoy that... and so does Sam.  
Enjoy!

Rated M cause eh, "minor non-explicit adult suggestive themes" is a good enough reason I guess.

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

It was hot… so hot… and he could almost feel his skin searing off of his bones.

"Sam…"

The voice was quiet, only a whisper, but it felt familiar. Who was Sam though? Why did that name sound familiar, too? And why was it so _hot_? As soon as he'd thought that, the heat left, replaced by a soothing cool that drenched his body and made him sigh with relief.

"Sam…" the voice called again.

He struggled to open his eyes, but he couldn't focus on anything. All he could see was a blur of reds and oranges and black… and then tan as something moved across his line of vision. Suddenly, his eyelids snapped open as memories flooded into his mind and his eyes rolled back into his head.

_He was falling, falling, falling for what seemed like years into the Pit. He hit the bottom, finally and felt something rip him from his body. He landed a short distance away, scraping across the hot, rough ground. Opening his eyes slowly, he found his body lying near him, looking broken and burned. In the distance he could see two bright forms grappling each other in the air._

_All of a sudden something glowing swooped in behind them and flew towards him. It landed by his body and ethereal blue eyes met his where he lie unable to move. Then, as swift as it had come, it left, taking his body with it. His eyes slid shut again and he drifted into darkness._

He heard the voice speak again and he immediately recognized that it was his name being called. Sam looked up, sucking faintly sulfuric air into his aching lungs. His eyes searched for the where the voice was coming from and his breath caught unpleasantly when a figure moved into his view.

"Lucifer?" Sam's voice came out choked and raspy, his mouth dry and his throat burning.

"Finally you join the waking world. Or rather," the angel added as an afterthought, "the waking Hell." Lucifer uttered a rough, mirthless laugh and stepped back, turning away from the hunter.

The feeling of extreme heat began to crawl back over Sam's skin and his eyes closed tightly again. Now that he was more awake, Sam could feel the steady pounding of blood painfully in the back of his head, making him wince, and the tired ache that was embedded in his bones. Well, technically he didn't have bones because he was only a soul, but Sam was still shaped like Sam Winchester, the same tall, muscular body and long brown hair, hazel eyes and so, he decided, in this form he had something akin to the soul's equivalent of bones.

Taking his mind away from the fact that he'd realized where he was and what had happened, Sam's eyes slowly opened and found Lucifer. On earth, he'd been a mere vessel, not even a very handsome one at that. But here, in Hell, back in his cage, the fallen angel had no true body and he'd certainly outdone himself in his appearance, taking the form Sam was familiar with and making it better: taller, leaner, accentuating all of his features into a much more pleasant looking man, and, of course, he now sported a huge pair of deep maroon wings from between his shoulder blades. He was only wearing a pair of slacks and the skin of his bare back was smooth and tanned.

His wings were strangely fascinating to Sam, who still seemed unable to move and was taking in his surroundings. When not looking around at the barren cliff where they were, or the hellfire burning in the distance, his eyes were inexplicably drawn to those dark wings. They hung over Lucifer's back, drooping slightly with the tips dragging in the dust, as if he was sad.

"This… is your cage?" Sam asked, voice still worn. He was slowly gaining feeling in his body and glanced down to find himself sitting, propped against what appeared to be a boulder, hands sitting limply at his sides. He was wearing what looked like his favorite pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, but his feet were bare and the soles were covered with the reddish dirt that coated the ground.

When he looked up again, he found Lucifer staring at him before abruptly turning away. "Yes. This is where my brother put me," he replied bitterly.

"Michael…" Sam whispered, his fingers twitched as he tried to make them move. "Where is he?"

The devil gave him a slight smirk. "Around," was all he would say.

Sam tried to swallow but his throat felt too raw. "What do you want… with me then?" he asked painfully. "Torture?"

The devil seemed to contemplate it. "Well, I would love to see the youngest Winchester broken." There was a dark glee in his voice that made a cold shiver run down Sam's spine.

Still, the hunter tried to stay calm and unafraid. He suddenly let out a quiet laugh that was more of a snort. "Just warning you now, it'll take a hell of a lot to break me."

In a flash Lucifer was before him, taking a handful of Sam's shirt and slamming his head back into the rock. Sam gasped in a breath as his vision blackened for a moment.

"We've got an eternity," the angel snarled at him menacingly, dark eyes burning into Sam's dazed ones. His wings were fluffed out in hot anger and billowed around his body. He suddenly let go and stepped back, his countenance growing calmer.

"I've been around a lot longer than you Sammy-boy. I've got quite a bit more… experience under my belt, so to speak," Lucifer whispered playfully. "And that means I know some creative ways to break you down."

Sam was more than frightened at the sudden changes in tone and knew he was going to have to be careful around Lucifer lest something really horrible happen.

"But for now I think I'll let you heal up a bit. It was quite a trauma falling in here with me and I know you'll want to be in tip-top shape for when the real pain begins." Satan looked at the Winchester with an evil smirk and suddenly vanished as darkness took Sam and his eyes slid shut.

The first thing that Sam noticed when he awoke was that he could move. It no longer hurt to breathe or swallow and he lifted his hands in front of his face, flexing his fingers. He was still in the same place he'd been before, but he heaved himself to his feet and stretched out his stiff muscles.

Moving towards the edge of the cliff, right where Lucifer had stood before, Sam looked down upon Hell. Red and white flames burned almost everywhere, and where they weren't, there were just lines, rows, groups of souls and demons. He couldn't tell what they were doing, but he had an inkling due to the steady echo of screams that permeated the sulfuric air.

"Looks harsh, doesn't it?" Lucifer's voice came from directly behind Sam, startling him. He whipped around to see the angel standing casually with his wings slightly ruffled. "All those poor souls, tortured." He made a tsking noise and moved beside Sam. "Well, their own damn fault in the first place for whatever got them in here!" He laughed, but the hunter sensed it wasn't all in amusement. There was a bitterness in the devil's voice that he didn't quite understand.

Feeling uncomfortable to be so close to Lucifer, Sam moved away, but his eyes stayed on the scene below them. "What do you do here if you can't go down there?" he asked after a moment, genuinely curious.

"This and that," Lucifer replied offhandedly. "Mainly see how many souls I can turn into demons just by chatting them up through the cracks. I lost count about three centuries ago, though."

Sam had to stop himself from smiling at the humor, remembering that this was the _devil_ for Heaven's sake. "That's sick," he finally said.

The angel smiled darkly at him. "What a man will do for entertainment, Sammy."

"Don't call me that." Sam glowered in return.

"Sammy. Sammy. Sammy." Lucifer sighed. "We're really going to have to get past the little things. After all, you'll be here with me forever!"

Sam's fists clenched. "Dean will find a way to get me out. I know he will." His voice was steady and his eyes hard, but there was already doubt beginning to form as he remembered the thing that had taken his body, but not his soul already.

"Of course, of course," Lucifer said, seeming to have forgotten about the older Winchester brother. "He's obviously trying to find a way to get you out and not at all settling down with that whore Lisa and her bastard son."

The hunter's mouth fell open slightly. "He promised me."

Lucifer's face twisted into sympathy and his hand came down on Sam's shoulder, sending an unpleasant electric shock through him. "Of course he did, Sammy. But, you know brothers; they break their promises all the time." His voice was full of fake sympathy, but there again Sam heard a deep bitterness.

"Where is Michael?" he asked again.

Lucifer seemed taken aback and took his hand from Sam. "I told you. He's around. Somewhere."

Sam's eyes narrowed. "You hate him. You wouldn't just let him roam around here."

The fallen angel hesitated just a second too long before he held up his hands. "Fine, you got me. He's chained up in the corner as of yet, recuperating from the fall and the… massive amounts of torture I've inflicted upon him." There was a proud, sinister smile upon his lips that sent a wave of fear through Sam.

"Your own brother?" Sam choked out, incredulous.

Lucifer shrugged. "Hey, you try being locked away for no proper reason by your older brother for a ridiculously long time. You hold just a little bit of a grudge."

Sam gave him a look of disgust and took a few steps away, looking around and away from Hell below. "Dean will come for me, I don't doubt that," he muttered.

"Are you trying to prove that to me? Or to yourself?" The angel gave him a knowing smirk and flew off, presumably to torture Michael or some other poor soul.

Shivering, despite the heat surrounding him, Sam move back towards the boulder he'd leaned against before and slid down against it, closing his eyes. Just as he was wondering if he could actually sleep in Hell, dark tendrils of unconsciousness grabbed him and dragged him down.

Sam woke to the sound of someone talking to him.

"Saaaaaaaaaaaaam," the voice said. "You've been here for nearly twenty years already and you've slept through most of it! I'm booooooooooooored."

Rousing himself, Sam sat up and opened his eyes groggily. "Twenty years?" he asked faintly, eyes focusing on Lucifer who was sitting on the ground near him and tracing Enochian symbols on the ground.

"Finally!" the angel exulted. "Time moves differently here, dumbass."

Sam made a face at him, not enjoying the name calling while he was still half asleep. "How can you be bored if it hasn't been that long anyway?"

"Sam." Lucifer looked at him with mild contempt. "I'm _always_ bored."

"Then find something to do!" The hunter stood to stretch, already disliking the babysitter duty he felt like he was being pushed into. As if dealing with sarcastic Lucifer was irritating enough, dealing with whiny Lucifer was worse. But Sam really didn't want to deal with pissed Lucifer so he crouched beside the angel, eyes involuntarily drawn to his wings again.

The devil seemed to be writing something complicated, but he glanced up at Sam suddenly. "I could torture you. That'd be entertaining!" Sam jerked backwards slightly in surprise.

"Not for me," he said, moving out of reach.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Obviously. But you're stuck here with me and I have nothing better to do so…" he trailed off, eyeing the younger Winchester. His hands were suddenly holding Sam's biceps, holding him in place as he stood before him. "I might as well have my way with you…"

Sam's eyes widened. "Wh-what do you mean?" he asked warily. Lucifer shoved him away, laughing.

"As fun as it would be tearing you apart limb from limb, I've had enough torture for today," Lucifer said gleefully, looking into the distance. "While you've been sleeping beauty, my brother has been a good sport."

Sam inched further away, the relief he'd felt a moment later vanishing into anxiety and fear again. He didn't know why he cared so much what Lucifer did to his brother. Maybe it was pity, or maybe it was intrigue. But there was a sick solace that he felt nonetheless that the archangel was the one receiving the pain and not him for the moment.

"Don't worry, you'll have your turn soon, Sammy," the devil said quietly, suddenly next to him. He stared into Sam's eyes and ran a finger from the hunter's cheek down his neck and chest before abruptly turning away and disappearing, leaving his laughter echoing in Sam's ears.

Time passed, but Sam had no idea how long. There was no night, no day, no way to tell apart the hours. He just knew time was passing. Sometimes Lucifer would pop up randomly and tease him a little or threaten him if Sam was feeling sarcastic. But for the most part Sam was alone. He would sit at the edge of the cliff and watch the processions of Hell far below.

It felt like many years later, and probably was, that Lucifer decided to pop up while Sam was resting. He thought that the hunter was asleep and so he silently sat a ways off and watched as Sam's chest rose and fell with every breath of tainted air. For once, he didn't feel bored. He was somewhat content just watching the young Winchester, something he hadn't really felt for a long time.

"Lucifer?" Sam called out, his eyes slowly opening and seeing the angel. The devil was torn between staying and becoming snarky as usual with the hunter, or simply vanishing to avoid having to talk. While he was contemplating what to do, Sam sat up and watched him.

"You know, that's kind of creepy," the hunter eventually said as Lucifer stayed silent. He still hadn't made up his mind, and so he stayed sitting, watching. Sam sighed and fell back. "How long has it been now?"

"Sixty seven years," Lucifer replied automatically. Sam looked at him, wary of his uncharacteristic quiet and calmness.

"I'm starting to think that maybe you not torturing me is in itself a form of torture," Sam mused, eyes turning to the heavy blackness that was the roof of Hell. "Or maybe you're never going to torture me."

In a second flat, Lucifer had pulled Sam up by his collar and flown him to the edge of the cage, which was manifested as a looming rock wall, and had him pinned with an arm under his chin. Sam's eyes went wide with shock and his hands feebly tried to pry the angel's arm off.

Lucifer's eyes burned coldly into the hunter's. "Who says I don't just want to take time with my playthings?"

Despite the fear that hung in his voice, Sam defiantly answered, "You always complain about how bored you are."

The corner of Satan's mouth curved up. "Patience is a virtue, even though I have very little of it. It's amusing to watch you wait in… anticipation." Malevolence dripped from Lucifer's words, but Sam had begun to see past his façades.

"I think you just don't want to hurt me, for whatever reason," Sam spit back. Before he could open his mouth to say another word, Lucifer flung him away, hard, and followed faster than the eye could see to bash Sam's body into the ground.

Kneeling beside him, with a hand pushing painfully hard on Sam's chest, Lucifer gazed at him with daggers. But behind those daggers was something else… Something Sam was trying to figure out as his eyes flicked between the devil's.

"Don't question my motives, human," Lucifer said with all the disgust he could muster. Suddenly the pressure on Sam's chest was gone and he coughed as the angel vanished.

The hunter sat up slowly, expecting pain from the trauma. He'd been thrown with enough force to break at least half the bones in his body, and he could have sworn he'd heard a few cracks when he landed, but there was no pain. He felt nothing other than the difficulty that was breathing the thick air. He looked around in amazement, but there was nothing, no one in sight.

He wasn't near the edge anymore and the area around him felt darker and more foreign. Itching to leave, Sam heaved himself to his feet and slowly began to walk, all of his senses on high alert for when the angel would return again.

More time passed, and Sam still hadn't found the edge of the cage. Eventually, though, he stumbled upon something else. Michael.

He found the angel chained to a cross and bleeding from various gashes all over his body. He still looked like Adam and Sam wondered vaguely if that was his real body, or if the thing that had taken Sam's body had taken Adam, too.

Michael's head was bowed, chin against his heaving chest, and his limbs hung loosely, the only thing holding him up was the chains that were intricately wrapped around his wrists, torso, and ankles. He looked… pathetic. Broken.

"Pity, isn't it," Lucifer said quietly, stepping towards Sam from where he'd suddenly appeared at the base of the cross. "I think the cross is a nice touch, though, don't you?" He smirked at the appalled expression on Sam's face.

The hunter couldn't even think of a single word to say as he gazed at the archangel. He tore his eyes away finally and looked at Lucifer, who held a mix of emotions in his eyes, none of which Sam had names for.

"Why?" he choked out. "Why have you done this to him?"

Lucifer stared at him and shrugged lightly. "I told you why."

"But… why haven't you done this to me, then? It's been plenty enough time for you to stop fooling around with him and torture me or whatever!" Sam wasn't sure why he was encouraging Lucifer to torture him, but he wasn't fully in control of himself either. "I mean, don't you hate me for dragging you back here?"

Lucifer looked at him quizzically. "I don't hate you, Sam, I could never hate you." Sam was taken aback, but the devil just continued. "You and me, we're the same. But my brother is not. He put me here in the first place. You were just trying to save the entire planet." He was slowly moving closer to Sam until he was right in front of him. Sam wanted to move away but Lucifer's gaze held him still.

"I loved my brother before he banished me here, all because I loved our father more than he did, more than any angel. I don't even hate you puny humans, I just wanted to love my father. But Michael betrayed me just like everyone else. And now that I can have my revenge on him, I'm taking it. What's so wrong with that?" Lucifer's voice was soft, something Sam wasn't used to and it was unnerving.

"Everything," Sam finally replied, hesitant. "Just because someone did something horrible to you doesn't give you the right to hate them for eternity until you can torture your heart out. Maybe he didn't want to put you here, and you both overreacted when things went south."

Lucifer suddenly smiled at him. "There's my Sammy, always being rational. Trying to give people the benefit of the doubt." He glanced at the bleeding angel strung up near them. "Too bad the damage is already done, though."

"You're awful," Sam told him, stepping back and turning away.

"I'm the devil, Sam. What did you expect?" Lucifer's tone was unexpectedly soft and Sam glanced over his shoulder at him, surprised to find the angel's eyes on his brother with a forlorn expression on his lips.

Sam turned again and began walking, eager to leave behind the pitiful archangel and the confusing devil.

He finally found the edge of the cage by following the side wall and feasted his eyes upon the horrific Hell below. It was no longer a shock, but something akin to daytime television for Sam. Something to watch in the long hours, days, years, that were passing him by. He had no idea how long he'd been in Hell, but he felt centuries older than when he'd arrived.

Sam hadn't been by the edge for very long when Lucifer appeared. "How do you always know where I am?" he asked without looking at the angel.

"When there's only two other creatures with you in a cage it's not hard to find one of them," Lucifer replied in a subdued tone.

Finally Sam looked at him as the devil sat beside the hunter. He looked tired. Sam narrowed his eyes, but he'd come to trust the presence of the fallen angel, even if it may not have been a good idea. "What's gotten into you? In the beginning you were so… snappy and evil, and now you're kind of… sad."

Lucifer barely reacted except to raise one brow slightly at Sam. "Coming back here has made me realize that I'm never going to be able to get out again, especially with so many of my demons dead and you in here with me." He sighed. "I fully intended to torture you, you know. But, once we were actually here, I kind of forgot."

Sam gave him a look of surprise. "You forgot?"

Lucifer grimaced. "Well, I'd say more that I don't care enough to anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The angel didn't answer but his wings twitched from where they were folded behind his back, catching Sam's attention. Without realizing it, the younger Winchester had leaned in and suddenly found Lucifer's face looming in front of him when he turned his eyes back.

Before he could move away, though, the angel caught his arm and kissed him. At first Sam was rigid with shock, but he soon melted into the kiss. After just a few seconds, however, he pulled himself away and jumped to his feet, backing up.

"What the hell, Lucifer," he said, putting his hands up in front of him as the angel stood, too.

"Don't pretend you didn't like that," Lucifer said with a smirk.

Sam opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. His eyes were wide and his head spinning. After a moment he managed to stutter out, "Go. Leave." He turned away as Lucifer's face twisted, trying to decide to stay or go. Eventually he picked the latter and left with a flutter of his wings.

The hunter sank to his knees beside the wall of the cage, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The devil was right though; he hadn't _not_ liked it. But he wasn't sure what that even meant. He knew there'd been a reason why Lucifer hadn't tortured him, or even hurt him when he got mad, and now that he knew, he had no idea what to do about it.

It was quite some time later when Sam finally stood up and brushed the dirt off his knees, taking a deep breath. He'd thought long and hard about the kiss and about Lucifer. He'd decided that it wouldn't hurt to do a little experiment/torture of his own. Worst case scenario meant that Lucifer would spend the rest of eternity torturing him, which is what he'd expected in the beginning. But best case scenario… that was something he didn't know. Sam just hoped for something topside of the worst.

"Lucifer," he called out, hoping that the devil could hear him and he wouldn't have to wait an indefinite amount of time to put his plan into action. It took a few moments, but there was a sudden rustle of feathers as Lucifer landed near Sam. He turned to look at him, maroon wings drooping, eyes hollow, face emotionless. He looked distraught.

Without wasting a second, Sam strode towards the angel and put a hand behind his head, pulling their mouths together roughly. He turned their bodies so Lucifer's back was against the rough wall. The devil's arms moved to wrap around him, but Sam suddenly pulled away, satisfied with the outcome.

"You didn't hurt me because you care about me," he said triumphantly, moving out of reach.

Lucifer's eyes were wide, surprised. His face quickly changed into a glower though as he gazed at the hunter. "What does it matter?" he asked, his wings folding in tight to his body from where they'd been fluffed out at Sam's kiss.

"I wasn't just a vessel for you, was I?" Sam asked, a realization hitting him that he hadn't even thought of before. "Does that mean Dean and Michael…?" Just the thought made Sam sick, but Lucifer just rolled his eyes.

"No. You're wrong on both accounts," he said, crossing his arms.

The Winchester breathed out a quick sigh of relief. "If that's not it, then what's all this?" Sam gestured to the angel. "You're whole 'caring' thing, I mean."

Lucifer looked away. His wings ruffled slightly as he shrugged. "You tell me, you're the one who's human."

"Well I don't understand it!" Sam felt exasperated and ran a hand through his long hair. "I mean you're supposed to be all evil and tear my soul apart for eternity and I'm supposed to suffer through until Dean finds a way to get me out, which seems more and more unlikely now." He stopped, realizing what he'd just admitted.

"I told you so," Lucifer said with a smirk and a smug tone.

"Shut up," Sam said half-heartedly. "But this… I mean it doesn't sound exactly appealing to me to spend eternity in Hell anyway, but I guess it's better than torture."

The angel stepped closer. "Who says I won't be torturing you, after all?" Sam glanced at him, but was more shocked by the lust in his eyes than the words he'd said.

"Woah, woah, wait a sec—" Sam tried to back up, but Lucifer caught him around the waist and covered the hunter's lips with his own. His forked tongue felt strange, but almost… pleasant in Sam's mouth when he'd involuntarily opened his mouth and the devil had taken advantage of the opportunity.

Sam wanted to pull away, to get away and clear his head from the intoxicating fallen angel. But instead he found himself pushing Lucifer back against the wall and kissing him roughly. His wings puffed out and were splayed back against the rock, inviting Sam's hands to touch the gossamer feathers like he'd subconsciously been wanting to do since he'd first seen them.

Lucifer broke the kiss in a gasp and he sagged against the wall as Sam's fingers raked through the small feathers that were close to where his wings sprouted from his shoulders and out as far as his arms could reach. Sam looked into the angel's face and a slow smile spread on his lips. He continued running his fingers across the blood colored feathers and watched in amusement as Lucifer's expression changed to one of pure pleasure.

"Who's torturing now?" Sam whispered, leaning forward. Lucifer's dark eyes opened and met his. A low growl erupted from the devil and he flipped them around so that Sam's back was against the wall and his mouth was captured by Lucifer, whose wings were trembling as he tore the hunter's shirt off.

The two fought for dominance, battling with tongues and hands. Sam ended up cheating and grabbed two fistfuls of the angel's feathers, making him weak in the knees again. The hunter pushed Lucifer into the rock with his body, kissing across his jaw and down his neck before he stopped, holding the helpless devil up by his wings. After a moment, Sam let go of him and backed away, breathing heavily.

Lucifer dropped to the ground, trying to catch his breath. Sam watched his shaking wings as the angel gathered hold over himself. "Why?" Lucifer asked breathlessly.

Sam's hands were slowly clenching and unclenching. "We shouldn't be… I shouldn't be doing this," he said darkly. "I'm a hunter, a human. And you're… you're freaking Satan!"

The angel's head slowly rose as he looked up at Sam, an unreadable expression on his face. "Then you should have said something in the first place, Sam," he said quietly, getting to his feet in a fluid motion. His wings had stopped quivering and were now looming dangerously over his head.

His entire demeanor had changed and Sam once again felt cold fear drip down his spine. Before he could say a word, the angel had him by the neck and was holding him out over the edge. The hunter's hands grasped at Lucifer's arm as his feet dangled over the hellfire far below.

"You… won't…" Sam managed to utter through a constricted windpipe.

"Try me," Lucifer replied, his head tilting slightly.

"You can't…"

The devil watched him struggle for a moment before turning and dropping him to the ground. Sam landed on his knees, coughing. When he had his breath back, he raised his head to glare at Lucifer, but the angel was standing at the very edge of the cage. Without a word, he took a step forward and fell into Hell.

Sam lurched himself to the edge, looking over, eyes searching for the devil, but Lucifer was nowhere in sight. The hunter suddenly heard a loud thump behind him and spun around, nearly falling off the edge himself.

Lucifer was lying on the ground thirty meters away, wings twisted beneath him. Sam stared in fascination as the angel slowly sat up, rolling his shoulders. "That was fun," he said, brushing off his pants and standing. His wings shook themselves before folding into his body again. "That, dear Sammy, is what happens when you jump off the edge." He laughed without humor. "I did that a million times when they first put me here."

"I'm sorry," Sam said quietly from where he was still kneeling.

"Don't pity me, Winchester," Lucifer told him, suddenly cold.

Sam just shook his head. "I'm not. I'm just saying I sympathize with you," he clarified slowly.

Satan glared at him. "Well, don't do that either."

"Why not?" the hunter asked, confused. He got to his feet somewhat shakily, but his gaze was steady as he challenged Lucifer to answer. "Because you don't feel? You don't want anybody to feel anything for you?"

"Shut up." Lucifer was moving languidly towards him, nostrils flaring and eyes menacing.

"You're just consumed with hate and rage and you take it out on your brother because he followed your daddy's orders when you didn't. And you know what I'm saying is true because right now you're feeling defensive, like you have to prove that you don't feel that way when you know that you _do_." Sam stopped talking just as Lucifer stopped right in front of him.

"Don't pretend that you know me just because you think you know what I'm going through."

"And there you are; defensive. Trying to cover up the fact that I can see right through you and you don't like it." Sam fought to keep smugness out of his voice, afraid of setting off the devil, but he was failing miserably.

Lucifer's eyes burned hard into Sam's for a long moment until—

_Smack!_

Sam was sent back a few steps as the angel's hand connected with his cheek, sending a harsh, stinging pain shooting through his head. Just as he was steadying himself, Lucifer slapped his other cheek just as hard, making him crash painfully into the rock wall. The devil looked like he was about to say something when Sam finally could glance at his face, but instead he just disappeared, leaving only the sound of feathers in his wake.

"Stop hiding, Lucifer, you're acting like a child."

"Lucifer, seriously."

"I know you can hear me, I'm not stupid."

Sam called out for the devil until his throat was sore. His face still stung, but it was nothing compared other pain he'd had to deal with over the years of being a hunter. Letting out a puff of air, he flopped to the ground and put his arms up behind his head.

His torso was still bare, he hadn't cared enough to find his shirt after it'd been torn off by Lucifer, and he could feel every tiny rock in the gritty dirt beneath him. It had been a long time after the angel had left that Sam had been able to calm himself down and think things out. Maybe it had been a little reckless and a lot dumb when he'd talked back to the devil, but Sam was so sick of dealing with him already.

"Spending all eternity in here is not going to be fun…" he mused aloud.

"Spending an eternity anywhere isn't fun," Lucifer said, suddenly appearing nearby. But instead of the usual snarky tone or sarcastic laugh, his voice was filled with only weariness. Sam glanced over at him but otherwise didn't move. Those red wings of his were still and the set of his shoulders was troubled.

"Look, Lucifer," Sam began slowly.

The angel interrupted him though. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

The Winchester blinked a few times in surprise. "Did you just… apologize? To me?" Sam sat up, staring at him with incredulity.

Lucifer glanced at him with a grimace. "Don't make me say it again, Sam," he pleaded, half in sarcasm.

Sam just gave him a look but let it be. "What I don't get," he said after a while, "is why. Why would you even care for me in the first place? I'm just a vessel."

The angel shrugged at him. "I could ask the same thing, but I don't know the answer any more than you do."

"I'm just trying to understand what's happening here. I mean if I have to spend another God knows how many years here…" Sam ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

"What is there to understand? What does it matter? We're here, there's no way for either of us to get out, and so we might as well make the most of it." Lucifer was suddenly kneeling beside Sam, who pulled away quickly.

"What do you want?" Sam asked, uncomfortable being so close to him.

"What do _you _want…?" Lucifer's husky voice was right next to Sam's ear. He grasped the hunter's shoulders and pushed him into the ground, leaning over until his face was just inches away.

Sam was shocked into silence as he took in what the angel had just asked. He had asked what _he_ wanted, the human, instead of just taking whatever it was that Satan himself wanted. Sam thought for a long moment, gaze trapped by the devil. In those eyes he saw thousands of years, lonely, deprived, angry years. Years of sadness, years of pain, but somewhere buried deep were years of happiness and light. Those were the years before the humans, before Lucifer became corrupted by his imprisonment.

Not wasting another second, Sam put his hands around Lucifer's head, forcing his ear next to his mouth. Sam took a quick breath and whispered, "I want you to hurt me." The angel pulled away and looked at him for a moment before a slow smile spread on Sam's lips that he reciprocated.

Lucifer swung a leg over the human's body and leaned down to kiss Sam slowly. He pulled back slightly, nails carving lines down Sam's bare chest. "I could peel your skin off, inch by inch," he whispered against the hunter's mouth. Trailing his lips down Sam's jaw, he flicked out his tongue to lick his pulse point. "Or I could break every bone in your body…" Sam moaned softly into the devil's mouth as it met his own again.

The angel's hand's roamed to his shoulders and gripped his biceps. "Tear you apart… rip out your heart…" He kissed down Sam's neck. "And then I would put you back together, piece by piece, before starting over again…"

Sam felt an inkling of fear in his body but it was quashed by the surprisingly tender way that Lucifer was kissing and caressing his skin. Suddenly Sam growled and flipped him over, holding him down by the shoulders of his wings. "And I could nail you up, and tear off your wings…" he said darkly. But there was a glittering lightness in his eyes.

"You would never do that," Lucifer muttered, clearly irritated that he'd been overpowered.

"You're right," Sam returned, grinning, "because then I couldn't do this." He loosened his grip on the angel's wings and ran his hands through the dark feathers, savoring the silky feel and the slight quiver it gave to the devil below him. "Why does that happen?"

"I don't know, but don't care," was all Lucifer replied, reaching to capture Sam's lips again. The hunter let himself be pushed back over into the ground with the angel straddling his hips. "You know, Sam, there are a thousand different ways I could torture you without even hurting you…" He laughed low in his throat. "I think I'd like to try them all."

Sam just groaned in reply, tempted to say a sarcastic remark, but the feeling of the angel's hard groin against his own and the tongue tasting every bit of his mouth threw every coherent thought out the window.


	2. Pulled

A/N: So this is far shorter than Fallen, however I didn't really know how to make this longer. I didn't plan on writing a sequel to Fallen when writing that, but I just had this image in my head and I decided I ought to do it because a fair amount of people liked Fallen. Even though this one is really really really REALLY sad, I hope you enjoy.

It was never meant to be a happy ending, after all.

P.S. If Luci seems out of character here, it's because in this little headcanon of mine, he really has changed (a LOT) and that's part of what's addressed in the story.

* * *

Sam groaned in frustration, feebly shaking his arms to try and free them from the handcuffs that were holding his hands above his head and attaching him to the headboard. His hazel eyes focused on the ceiling of the bedroom, and he was still somewhat amazed that it existed in the first place.

He had to remind himself that it didn't exist.

Somehow, Lucifer had perfected the art of manifestation and after only a little bit of thought had created this glamorous bedroom for them, complete with a giant, squishy bed, flowing black curtains on the windows and a huge tellie that only showed the same picture that could be seen if Sam were to walk out the door and back to the edge of the cage.

Currently, he was trying to ignore the sight of Lucifer moving towards him from that door and barely even attempting to free himself from the cuffs. He tried, he really did, but he inadvertently looked when Lucifer came into his line of sight and he immediately focused his attention on that tan skin and deep maroon wings adorning his back. He groaned again, annoyed that he couldn't move.

The angel grinned at him. "You were asking for it…" he muttered quietly, standing before the bed with his hands on his bare hips.

"Shut up." It was true, though. Sam had had it coming after making a remark in passing that after their previous… escapades… he still hadn't really been _tortured_ despite Lucifer's promises. He hadn't quite expected the devil to handcuff him to the bed, though, but he wasn't going to complain. After all, who would complain about that _damn_ sexy body that was slowly crawling on top of him?

It was only when Sam noticed that he held a piece of cloth in his hands and was about to tie it around Sam's mouth that the hunter started to worry a little bit.

And when a wicked grin gleamed on Satan's face as he backed away and left the bed, touching him along the way just enough to get him hot and bothered, Sam really began to have doubts.

Lucifer would _not_ go easy on him.

* * *

More tired and almost as sore as he had been when he'd first fallen into Hell, Sam was content to lay next to Lucifer, his wings making a sort of cocoon around them both as they rested, sleep never truly able to take either in their state of limbo in the cage, but they were given the small respite of naps.

"Ah… I was beginning to wonder why I hadn't been greeted properly." A soft voice immediately drew both the hunter and the angel into glancing around for the source. Lucifer's face suddenly fell to an expression on neutrality that Sam instinctively knew had been practiced for millennia. Sam simply looked shocked, though.

He had never met the man before, but he didn't need to be told to know that this was Death standing before them near the door of the room.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure, old friend?" Lucifer asked, not in the least bit concerned about his nakedness underneath the cover of his wings. Even so, Sam was glad to find that he had manifested pants onto each of them as they stood and the bed disappeared along with the whole bedroom, leaving them all standing near the edge. Hellfire made their eyes dimly glow.

Death gazed at Lucifer with zero emotion, but he seemed to smile lightly upon eyeing Sam. "I see you've been treating your human well, Lucifer." The hunter repressed the shudder he felt from Death's inspection.

"You know me; I always treat my guests with respect." Lucifer smiled in a friendly way, but it masked a more malicious meaning. Yeah, he'd really _respected_ Sam during their time together.

Death looked back at the devil. "Pleasantries aside, I've come to take away your new plaything."

The angel barely reacted. "I suspected as much. Let me guess, your interest in that Dean character has led you here to bring his brother's soul back in order to appease him?"

"Don't mock me, Lucifer. I'm doing this for my own reasons, though Dean did request it of me." The Horseman's lips drew up in a tiny smile and his hand gripped his cane a little tighter. "I'm sure you're ready to leave, Sam?"

They both glanced to the younger Winchester, who was shell-shocked. "What?" he asked stupidly. He met Lucifer's eyes. "You're not gonna fight or anything?"

The angel shrugged and said in a manner that was wiser than Sam could have expected, "It's a fight I know I won't win."

"But… I can't just—" Sam broke off, abruptly moving away.

"Sam…" Lucifer called to him gently. He looked at Death. "Give us a few moments, would you?"

Death yawned and gave them a contemptuous look. "Alright." He disappeared and Lucifer stepped towards Sam.

"I can't just leave you here!" the hunter suddenly shouted, turning to him. "You're… alone."

Lucifer laughed mirthlessly. "I was alone here for a very long time before you came."

"That doesn't make it right." The set of Sam's jaw was hard, but Lucifer's docile tone let him know it was futile whatever he said.

"Right has nothing to do with this, Sam." The angel put a hand on his shoulder. "You have your brother to go back to and a world that probably needs saving again. If Death is here, then it's gotta be something big."

"Come with me."

"I can't."

"Why?" Lucifer just shook his head. "I don't want to leave."

"Yes you do." He led Sam to the edge and they both looked over Hell. "This is where I'm forced to stay. But you have a way out. You don't belong here. You don't belong to me."

Sam took his arm and spun him to plant a hard kiss on his mouth. "You made me love you," he said quietly.

Lucifer just continued like nothing had happened. "Nearly everyone on Earth, in Heaven and even here hates me. It doesn't matter if you don't, because there's no way I'm ever getting out again, and I don't want you to stay here forever just for me. I'm not worth it."

"You've changed…"

"I blame you." Satan gave him a sad smile. "I'll tell you this, though, you'll never have better sex topside than you've had here with me."

Sam laughed despite himself. It was probably true after all. "Lucifer…"

"I'll be fine on my own, Sam."

"You'll miss me," Sam said matter-of-factly.

Lucifer gave a wry smile. "Yeah, I will. But it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

"That doesn't make me want to leave."

"I know." They stood for a long while, just standing side by side and looking down at Hell.

* * *

"I don't want him to remember anything that happened while he was here," Lucifer said, gazing over at Sam from where he stood talking to Death. "If you must, alter his memories so that he remembers something different. Torture. Pain. Anything, it doesn't matter."

"You don't want him to deal with the heartache of leaving," Death summarized, eyes flat.

"Yes." The angel's eyes traced the familiar contours of the hunter's body. The one he'd had for nearly a hundred and sixty years. The one he'd fallen in love with and made love to and kissed with a tenderness he hadn't even known he'd ever had until he met Sam.

"I'll do it," Death told him quietly, following the path of his sight.

"Thank you."

"You are different, you know. He's changed you, more than I would have imagined." Death was back to looking at the angel, who smirked a little.

"Yeah. I didn't think it was possible. If only he'd been around a couple thousands of years ago, maybe things would have been different."

"You can keep thinking of the if's, or you can remember how it is now and leave it at that."

Lucifer glanced at Death. "Wise words."

"Remember when you used to not listen to them?"

"I'm still not listening." Death cracked the tiniest of smiles at his words and stepped back.

"I'll give you another moment," he said pleasantly.

Lucifer walked back towards Sam, who had a troubled expression. When the human looked at him, he had a difficult time not reaching out to hold him. "You won't remember anything," Lucifer told him softly.

"I don't like this," Sam said, still troubled.

"Neither do I. But like I said, your place is upstairs, not stuck down here." He tried to harden his heart like it had been before this one simple human had come along and changed everything. But it wasn't working.

It especially didn't work when Sam suddenly pulled him close and gave him a long, slow, passionate goodbye kiss. The Winchester seemed close to tears, something that even Lucifer hadn't seen, and he couldn't help but touch his cheek lightly.

* * *

Sam stood silently, waiting for Death to reappear. He didn't know where Lucifer was, but that was probably a good thing. He didn't want to make the parting any harder than it already was.

"Are you ready, Sam Winchester?" Death asked from beside him.

Sam nodded.

Death held out his hand as if to shake Sam's, and he hesitated for half a second before he took it. He felt himself being pulled, dragged away from the place he'd come to accept because of one person he'd come to love.

Just before everything went dark, he sent out a short prayer to Lucifer, half-hoping the angel would hear, half-hoping he wouldn't.

_I'll never really forget you…_

* * *

Lucifer sat on the edge, his feet hanging over, eyes staring blindly into Hell. He didn't cry. He didn't move. He just sat.

He'd had the human in his grasp for nearly a hundred and seventy years.

A hundred and seventy.

Compared to the time he'd spend there before, that was like the blink of an eye. But it had been the most important, most significant thing to ever happen since he was banished from Heaven.

And it was over. It was all over. Every moment he'd spent with the hunter was now just a memory. He glanced to his right, the tiniest part of him hoping, just hoping, that maybe Sam would be beside him once more. But he wasn't. So Lucifer looked away, a small sigh of breath leaving his lips, which could still feel his lover's against them.

* * *

_"Your soul has a strong hold on the memories of your time there."_

"What are you going to do?"

_"I will alter your perception of the memories. They will be… less pleasant… I will also put up a wall to block them from damaging your mind. Don't scratch the wall."_

"Why can't I just—"

_"It will be easier this way. Your soul will still carry the truth, but it will be better this way for your mind and…heart."_

. . .

_All Sam could hear was the sound of Death's voice, echoing. He was surrounded by… something, but he couldn't tell what. He knew he was out of Hell. He knew it was coming. He spared a single last thought for the angel he loved._

_"This will be painful, for both you and your body. Bear with it."_

_. . ._

"I'm going to put up a barrier inside your mind. It might feel a little… itchy. Do me a favor; don't scratch the wall. Because, trust me, you're not going to like what happens."

. . .

_"Don't scratch the wall…"_

_He fleetingly thought of their last kiss, before that disappeared, too. _

_Everything stopped as an all-encompassing white light burned around him. He was on fire. And it _hurt_. There was a pressure he suddenly felt on his head, around his body, and it pushed his memories. _

_. . ._

I'll never really forget you…


	3. Remembered

A/N: Sigh... you guys just love to give me ideas and make me write things, don't you? Well, to ease your suffering (and cause you much more) here's the third (and LAST I SWEAR) part of Fallen. Enjoy your tears.

* * *

"You sure you're gonna be okay, man?"

"Yeah, Dean. I'm fine," Sam said with a forced smile and a small laugh.

Dean just gave him a stern look. "Alright. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

When the door to their motel room finally shut, Sam let out a breath of relief. He loved his brother, but ever since he'd returned from Hell Dean had been a little… overprotective. That day, Sam had finally convinced him to go out and investigate a little with some of the victims' families on their latest case while Sam would stay back and relax for a couple of hours to research.

He was desperate for some time off.

Over the short past weeks after his return, he didn't remember anything, and he still didn't, but every once in a while he would see flashes, glimpses of things from Hell. Be it a fire that didn't exist or opening a door and seeing the room filled with hooks and chains until he blinked. Sometimes he would even hear the sound of screams and cough at the unwelcome sulfur in his lungs. He was slowly getting used to it though, and he figured it was because the memories were so strong they sometimes bled though the wall a little bit.

Still, it was tiring business trying to catch up on everything that had happened and getting back into the swing of hunting after so long. Mentally tiring, that is, because of course the soulless Sam had kept his body in great shape. It was nice to have a few hours to himself now and again, just to sit and look up whatever they needed for the case they were on. The only thing that could disrupt his alone time was—

Sam's train of thought broke off as he glanced up from his computer screen to stretch and saw Lucifer standing against the counter. He froze and blinked a couple of times, hoping the image would fade after a moment. But the angel was still there, a small smile on his lips and a pair of deep maroon wings on his back, clad only in a pair of slacks with his arms crossed over his chest. Sam felt something stir in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey, Sammy."

The hunter was speechless. He'd barely seen the angel before, let alone heard him talk all that much, but his voice was so damn familiar. It wouldn't matter what that voice said, he knew he would always recognize it. The thing that stopped him short was the intense emotion he felt at hearing that voice again.

"L-Lucifer?" he finally stuttered out. The angel smiled a little wider and he looked… well, tenderly at Sam. He lifted himself from the counter and stepped closer, but Sam moved back.

Lucifer's face fell. "You don't remember." It wasn't a question.

"Remember what?" Sam had the sinking feeling that he already knew that the devil was talking about.

"You don't remember… me," he said slowly.

Sam was quiet for a moment. "I don't remember much of anything." He was visibly struggling, his mind racing to figure out if this was real or not. But how could it be? Lucifer was still in the cage. Sam was out. Right?

"What _do_ you remember?" the angel asked cautiously, slowly moving a little closer. Sam didn't answer. "Do you remember the cage? Hell?"

The hunter shook his head a little. "I remember… fire." He wasn't sure why he was telling the devil this of all creatures, but that devil's eyes lit up just a little at his words.

"What else?"

Sam felt a little distant. "It was hot… and pain." He tried to focus on Lucifer again. "Why are you here?"

He shrugged in reply. "I should ask you. I'm in your mind after all."

"So… you're not real?"

"No." The angel looked a little sad and his wings were drooping.

Sam abruptly turned and went to sit on the edge of his bed. "Great. I'm full out hallucinating now."

Lucifer let out a small laugh. "That's probably my fault."

"Why?" Sam looked up at him as he moved a little closer.

"I had Death alter your memories so you wouldn't remember what really happened."

"Why would you do that?"

"I thought it would be best…"

"Better I only see torture and pain than the angel I fell in love with?"

Sam froze.

Lucifer was looking at him in amazement.

"Why did I just say that?" Sam asked, worry creasing his brow. "Tell me!" he added, standing when Lucifer didn't say a word.

"Do you remember what you said right before you left?" the devil asked suddenly a few moments later.

Sam was silent for a long time, but before long words started tumbling from his mouth and he heard his own heartbroken voice in his head. "I'll never really forget you…"

The angel gave him a small, sad smile and it nearly tore out Sam's heart. "You do remember, at least parts of it."

"I'm starting to, I think. I don't know if that's a good thing yet or…" he trailed off. Hesitantly, Sam reached out and Lucifer surprised him by moving quickly away.

"Sam… I don't know if—" he broke off, seeming to not want to finish the sentence, but Sam already knew what he meant. Even so, it didn't deter the hunter from attempting to grab his wrist.

They both met each other's eyes with unspoken words as Sam's hand grasped his arm tightly.

"Even if you are just in my mind… this feels real." He put his other hand on the angel's bare chest.

"Sam," Lucifer said in a warning tone. "You know this will only hurt you more when it's all over and I'm gone again."

Sam didn't drop his hands, but his gaze met the devil's and his eyes held a deep pain that was far beyond his body's years. It came from the load his soul had to bear, all the guilt and frustrations of his actions before the cage, and then the emotional turmoil from having to leave behind the only creature he would ever love so deeply. His soul bled through the wall in his mind, at that moment having enough strength to bring forth all of those feelings even without all of the memories attached.

He didn't say a word. He just allowed his soul to block out his mind for the moment and pull Lucifer into a kiss that was hard and rushed and _God_ did it feel good. He felt the angel clutch at him just as tight as Sam was holding him and together their mouths melted together as if they had been made perfectly for each other. Lucifer's body fit against Sam's like a mold and Sam could feel himself falling into a familiar process as he lost his shirt to Lucifer's hands.

His back was pressed into the wall which was covered in ugly wallpaper that Sam instinctively knew Lucifer would laugh at if his mouth wasn't preoccupied elsewhere, namely Sam's neck. The hunter growled in approval and savored the familiarity of the devil's forked tongue on his skin, in his mouth, everywhere.

"Lucifer…" he whispered, and suddenly everything was gone. His eyes flew open and he was alone. "Lucifer?" he called out hesitantly, though he knew he would get no answer.

The angel was gone.

Sam stood there for a long time, harsh longing slowly ripping him apart from the inside. He eventually moved to his bed and sat, mind blank, heart sore.

. . .

He hadn't meant to, but he figured he'd fallen asleep because the next thing he knew Dean was shaking his shoulder to rouse him. For some reason, he felt true and raw sorrow, but he couldn't remember why he would feel something like that.

"You good, man?" Dean suddenly asked from where he stood by his own bed, taking off his jacket.

Sam looked up at him and had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could speak. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

But inside he was crying, and he didn't even know why.


	4. Screwed

A/N: I know, I know... But really, I just have these ideas and you all love this so why not? Have the feels. Have all the feels. May you enjoy your masochistic selves.

Basically, this is just porn. I was in the mood.

* * *

It was a game they played.

A form of chicken.

It was a test to see who could last the longest.

So far the score was twenty-six for Sam and twenty-seven for Lucifer. Lucifer had kept just one or two points ahead of Sam since the beginning, but the younger Winchester was stubborn and determined to win.

The rules? There was only one. So Sam didn't even feel bad for pinning Lucifer to the bed by his hips with the weight of his body, trapping him. In fact, he felt good. Really good. And he wasn't going to lose again.

"It's not going to work this time, Sammy," the angel said in a bored tone, though the darkness of his eyes betrayed how he really felt.

"It's worked the last twenty-six times. And even before then," Sam retorted with a grin.

The only rule of the game was that they weren't allowed to touch themselves. If they did, they immediately lost.

It was for that reason alone that Sam wasn't holding down Lucifer's arms. Instead, he was holding onto the feathers of his wings, pulling them and kneading them and loving the shudders that went through the angel's body. Oh yes, he loved to exploit that one little thing. And it always worked. He was still a bit amazed at the sensitivity that went with the wings for Lucifer. He was also amazed at how long the devil could last, even with that. He really had some self-control.

Sam couldn't say how long he'd been in Hell, but he felt that the majority of that time had been just him and Lucifer, doing the one thing that was fun, torturous, and goddamn heavenly all at the same time. Sure, sometimes they would just sit or lie together, just talking. The hunter loved it when his angel told him stories of how the world was when humans were young and the world was so much more simplistic. But then he just _loved_ being right where he was, on top of Lucifer, the freaking Devil, making him moan and writhe with pleasure and lust, making him ache to just get it all over with and tip over the edge that he'd been over hundreds of times and still found to be the best kind of experience ever.

Sam loved it all.

"You just going to sit there staring or are you going to get this show on the road? You'll be the one to lose unless you get a move on," Lucifer said mildly, reeling Sam back in from his thoughts.

The hunter smirked. "Just enjoying the view." And, man, was it was sight to behold. Honestly, he would never get enough of just seeing his angel so completely wrecked underneath him, wings and legs spread. Sam ran his fingers across those feathers once again, leaning down to capture Lucifer's mouth as he took back one of his hands, only to move along the soft ridges of the angel's ribs and the curve of his ass. His other hand soon followed as his lips made its way down the same path to the v-shape of his hips, that delicious cock of his resting, achingly hard, for Sam's mouth.

Lucifer had some brave words, but Sam knew he was close by the drawn out groan that left the devil's throat when the younger Winchester's tongue ran over his head, fingers playing with the skin of his thighs, splotched with bruises from their previous escapades of this sort. Oh he was _so_ going to win this time.

"Sam…" Lucifer cried, the rumble of his raw voice sending a shock through his human.

"Anything you wanna say?" Sam asked, pulling away and glancing up with a smile.

"Your mouth can do fucking _wonders_," the angel muttered. He suddenly grinned though. "But so can mine." With that, he managed to flip off Sam, since the hunter had lost his grip on Lucifer's wings, and he landed on top with those feathered appendages splayed above him in triumph.

"Damn it!" Sam grumbled. He knew he'd lost his hand and was going to lose just then, so he didn't even try to stop the wanton moan that escaped him as Lucifer licked his way up the underside of his dick, the slit of his tongue moving expertly around the hard flesh. Lucifer worked him over for a long time, and eventually, Sam gave in a little, lifting his hips to thrust into that wet mouth, groaning for release. Lucifer laughed and pulled away, teasing Sam's skin with his fingertips.

"I win again." The angel smiled cheekily, but the younger Winchester just smirked, reaching out for him.

"Not yet," he said quietly, grasping the bases of Lucifer's wings and pushing him backwards, crawling over his body and holding him down with one hand on his wing as he wet the fingers of the other in his mouth. Mercilessly, he slid two inside of the angel to start, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him because he was, in truth, an all-powerful being, and technically were both in ethereal form. Before long, he had Lucifer gasping and writhing, all but begging for Sam.

How could he deny such a twisted little angel?

The hunter set the pace as hard and fast, turning them both quickly into grunting and groaning messes. And, for the twenty-seventh time, Sam Winchester won out over the devil himself. They lay together in the aftermath, quietly resting until Sam started laughing. Low at first, but it quickly became loud guffaws that had him holding his sides as his angel watched with an amused smile.

"What's so funny?" Lucifer asked when Sam finally calmed down a little.

"Do we seriously have nothing better to do than count how many times we can make each other come?" Sam wiped the wetness from his eyes at laughing so hard. His chest was aching and he settled down again, putting an arm around the devil.

"You'll be surprised at how little there is to do here, Sammy." There was a hint of sadness to Lucifer's voice, but Sam just rubbed his hand across the angel's bare skin and planted a kiss on his shoulder.

"We've got each other, though."

"Don't be growing lady parts on me, Sam. You know how much I just adore your cock."

Sam laughed again. "Don't I know," he muttered softly, eyes closing with a contented sigh.

_I'll never really forget you…_

Sam's eyes snapped open and he bolted up in the cheap, funny smelling motel bed. He looked around wildly for a moment until his eyes found his brother, staring at him with a surprised expression.

"Dude, you okay?" Dean asked warily.

"Uh," Sam spluttered unceremoniously. "Yeah." He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his long hair.

"You sure, Sammy?" Lucifer asked from his perch on the table across the room.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said, barely recognizing that it was the angel that had asked and not his brother. He did a double take as it hit him, but Dean was still looking at him so he just swung his legs off the bed and rubbed his temples. "Fuck…" he cursed under his breath. Sam stood up and was more than a little surprised at the wetness slowly drying on the inside of his boxers. Damn, he was glad he was wearing sweatpants so Dean hopefully wouldn't be able to notice.

Sam made his way into the bathroom, grateful that Lucifer seemed to be staying out in the main room with Dean. He really didn't want to see the angel, not after the dream he'd just had. And _seriously_? He felt like a horny teenager, coming in his pants from a wet dream. What in hell was happening to him? He didn't remember much, but every once in a while, he would have these dream-memories of his time in Hell, and all they did was make him more confused. He never dreamed about pain or torture or blood like his brain made him think about during the day. No, instead he dreamed about fucking _Satan_.

Why did that turn him on so goddamn much?


	5. Memorized

A/N: I've decided, and I think many of you will be sad to hear this, that there's only going to be one more chapter to this story after this one. I've had a couple of people suggest things like Lucifer coming back and a happily every after, but I want to keep this as logical to the actual show as possible, so I think you might know what's going to happen in the finale of this story.

By the way, I'm sorry in advance for the heartbreak.

* * *

"You remember now, don't you?"

"Shut up."

"You remember every moment together. Everything we did."

"Shut up!"

"It meant nothing to me. _Nothing_, Sammy."

"I said shut up!"

"You know you're still in here with me right? All of this, it's just a big joke. And the joke's on you! And you fell for it! You fell for it all. Know why? Because you're a poor little sap, Sammy, and I knew all along that it would work."

"Shut up right now."

"Oh this has been fun! Making little Sammy Winchester think that the devil himself was in love with him. Like the Devil could ever love a screwed up kid like you. And you ate it all up! Oh, it's been beautiful!" Lucifer clapped his hands together and laughed smugly.

"You're not real. You're not the real Lucifer."

"Oh, I'm real. And this is your prison." He waved his hands in a wide gesture. "I created it all! Every moment, everything, it's all been me, all along."

"Why?"

"You could call it… daytime television. We don't really get HBO in the pit you know, and this, well this is the next best thing! The best series, the best show. Sam Winchester, sacrificing himself to take down little old me, and then—"

"Just shut up."

"—then you fall in love with me, and what do I do? I make you think you've been pulled out. You're out of the cage! But the angel you love is still stuck, and it breaks your heart, don't it?"

"No."

"Your face! Oh, Father, your face is so perfect right now. Shocked, angry, with just a little pinch of fear…"

"Stop."

"Stop? Sammy, I'm just getting started! You know, I'm actually a little surprised at how easy it was to make you believe in all that 'love' shit. Too easy. But then, you are just a gullible human after all."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Sam. Yelling at me isn't going to work. You should know that by now."

"You're lying to me. Lucifer loved me!"

"It's pathetic really how you keep holding on to that… When will you realize? I never loved you!"

"No. No! You're not the real Lucifer! The real one is still in Hell. You're just—just fake! You're in my head. That's all. You're not real."

Lucifer looked at him with a sad smile. "Sorry, Sammy, but I'm standing right here. There's no other me. You're still in the cage. With me. I must say, using you has been the most fun I've had in centuries! The sex wasn't… terrible I guess, but I've had better. No offense."

"Shut up. Just shut the hell up."

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up…" Sam's voice grew smaller and he curled in on himself. Those two words, they became a chant, a mantra that echoed over and over, long past the time that Lucifer had finally grown bored and left him alone. It might have even been hours for how hoarse his voice was when his brother finally found him, on the floor and holding his head in the corner of the shitty motel room they were staying in.

"Sam, Sam! Look at me!" Dean was saying, shaking him by the shoulders.

The younger Winchester finally stopped muttering and looked up at his brother. "Dean?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. I've got you," Dean told him, voice soothing as he pulled Sam up by the arms and sat him on the edge of one of the beds. "Dude, what happened?"

"I, uh… I don't know. I just—" He let out a shuddering breath. "I'm okay. I'm okay, really."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"That's what you get for yelling, Sammy," Lucifer said with a twitch of his lips from where he lounged on the other bed. Sam just ignored him.

"Not real, not real…" he whispered under his breath.

"What?" Dean asked, giving him a look like he was a loon about to break.

"Nothing. Did you get anything on the vic?"

Dean watched him for a second before turning away and shrugging out of his jacket. "Yeah. The parents were…"

Sam sighed out and tried to listen to his brother, tuning out the obnoxious humming emanating from Lucifer's side of the room. He knew, he _knew,_ this couldn't be the real Lucifer. His angel loved him. His angel changed. And anyway, it was impossible that he was still in the cage. No. This Lucifer was wrong. Fake. He was sure.


	6. Lost

A/N: It's been a long journey, but the end is finally here. I know some of you will be disappointed, but it's not a happy ending. From the start of this story, it was never going to be a happy ending. Anyway, I hope you at least have enjoyed it! So here it is, the finale, the end, the take-a-bow-and-let-the-curtain-fall. All my love to those who have followed this through and given me their tears and compliments!

* * *

Sam was torn.

He was sick, so very sick, and he hadn't slept in days. This damn Lucifer just would not leave him alone for even a second. He wanted more than anything to just punch him in the jaw and stuff a gag in his horrible mouth.

But then, this was _Lucifer_. And even though he had accepted that this wasn't _his_ Lucifer, it was still Lucifer the angel, and to a certain degree… well, having him around gave a small comfort to Sam. It made him remember what really happened with him and the angel in the cage.

Sometimes, though, sometimes he almost believed this Lucifer. He would almost think, maybe it really was all fake. It was all a lie. Everything was a lie. But Dean was still beside him, and he knew that here, in the real world, with Leviathan and monsters, and every other bit of crazy, dangerous shit, it was all in his head.

That didn't make him sleep any better.

And then he was running.

Run. Just run. Keep moving.

The dementia was setting in, and a distant part of his brain recognized that, but for the most part, Sam was just _scared. _He was _tired_. And sleep deprivation? Well, wasn't that just a godsend from the nightmares that turned each and every wakeful hour into a nightmare in itself. And he couldn't escape that either.

Lucifer was everywhere. He was there, all the time. Sam ran from him, but it was useless. And then, when he was hit by that car, he wasn't even given the respite of unconsciousness from the pain of it all. No, he was wide awake, through every moment. Every flash of pain, every yell and whisper from Lucifer, every popper thrown on the floor and every maleficent smirk that the devil gave him. He was barely given a moment when that demon strapped him down for the electric shock "therapy" just to see that it was in fact a demon, before Lucifer took his place and once again replaced every face and every aching breath that Sam attempted to gulp down.

It felt like he was in Sam's very veins, and while he'd felt that way before, in the cage, with _his_ Lucifer, this was completely different. This was the most unpleasant thing that Sam had ever the misfortune to deal with. All the broken bones and cuts and bruises he'd had to deal with over the years of being a hunter… This was worse. This was so much worse.

Even when Cas was there, he didn't know it. It was just Lucifer. Everything was Lucifer. There was nothing but Lucifer.

Then it was gone.

And there was Cas, and Dean, and—

And no Lucifer.

No Lucifer.

Gone. Gone. He was gone.

Finally.

Relief filled his veins and his lungs, took away the pain in his ribs. It pushed and pulled and crowded into his body like nothing else on earth mattered but that pure, beautiful relief. Even his worry about leaving Cas there was drowned out by the relief. There would be time for that later. Right then, there was that cool relief, Dean, a piece of shit car, and a hundred hours for him to just _sleep_.

So he slept.

Blissful sleep overcame the echo of the madness, the memories, the fear and the restlessness. He was not plagued with nightmares. He did not see the falsettos of torture and pain and a horribly twisted _wrong_ Lucifer that was simply created from the tweaks in Sam's memory that Death created to save him from the heartbreak of leaving his angel. Fat lot of good that had done… but Sam refused to think about that. Not when there was sleep to be had, dreams to be seen, a mind and a body to be restored.

So he dreamed.

And he said goodbye.

. . . . .

_The angel stood at the edge of the cage, looking down upon Hell. It was a view that Sam knew well. They had been there for many years, sitting contently at each other's side and trying to ignore the screams with their own laughter. Sam had been happy. He'd been in Hell. But he'd been happy for once in his life. But now… Things were different. He was out. His angel was not. Nor would he ever be._

_"Lucifer?" he called out quietly._

_The fallen angel turned to look at him and a smile broke his features. "Miss me, Sam?" His face was so familiar, his smile to sincere, and when he held out his arms in such a small but loving gesture, Sam almost had no choice but to move to him and welcome the embrace of his lover._

_"This… This is a dream, isn't it?" Sam asked warily when they broke apart slightly. _

_Lucifer looked sad for a moment. "Yeah, it is. It's your head telling you that you need to say goodbye. For good this time. From me, and that other bastard me from your damaged memories."_

_"Cas took him away…"_

_"And that means he's taking me, too."_

_"Will I still remember you?"_

_"Bits and pieces, probably. What I had Death do to you… it warped your true memories, the ones he left untouched, and now there's not a whole lot left up here." As he spoke, Lucifer caressed the back of the hunter's head, poking him on the forehead with his other hand on his last word. "At least you won't be crazy anymore, yeah?" _

_"Yeah, I guess."_

_"Don't look so glum, kid."_

_"How can I not? It was hard enough leaving you behind the first time."_

_"You're not really leaving me, though, this time. I'll still be with you." He moved a hand to cover Sam's heart. "While this is a completely chick-flick move, I'll still be with you. Remember, you said you'd never really forget me? You haven't as of yet."_

_"And I won't."_

_"See? Just remember me as I am. Forget that other guy, he wasn't me. He wasn't nearly as sexy."_

_"I know."_

_"You doubted it sometimes."_

_Sam flinched. "Yeah, but—"_

_"You don't have to defend yourself. I probably would have too if I'd been in your shoes. You did nothing wrong, so stop beating yourself up about it."_

_"I'm not—"_

_"Sam, I know how your mind works. I've been inside you." Lucifer waggled his brows. "In more ways than one."_

_Sam couldn't help the choked laugh that left his throat. He bowed his head slightly, but Lucifer's fingers forced his chin up again, meeting his eyes before planting a kiss on his mouth. It was a gentle kiss, one that didn't need to be rushed. It was a dream, and Sam wanted to dream about the man he loved most, and most of all, he didn't want to rush it. So they kissed, softly, lovingly, until Sam finally pulled away just a little, just to look at Lucifer, memorize the face that he already had burned into his very soul. Almost literally. The angel was the first to move. He pulled Sam by the hand towards the edge, where they both sat, feet hanging over as they leaned into each other. _

_Sam spoke first after a long moment. "If this is my dream, can't I make us be somewhere like Hawaii, or Oregon?"_

_"I suppose you could, but since we were never there together, it might be hard to transfer the memory of me there."_

_"Right." Sam sighed. This was just a memory. Well, a memory-dream._

_"Hey, Sam?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"You should sleep."_

_"I am sleeping."_

_"Your body is, but your mind isn't."_

_"How do I make my mind sleep?"_

_Lucifer was quiet for a moment, and when Sam glanced at him, he was smiling. "Come here." He lay back, stretching out an arm so that Sam could lie at his side. They were quiet for a long time, just looking up into the black abyss above them. Sam could feel himself drifting off, floating away, tendrils of sleep within the dream dragging at him._

_He was brought back for just a moment as Lucifer whispered into the top of his head, "Even though I'm not with you, never forget me. Live your life, save the world again, but remember me."_

_. . . . ._

Sam woke slowly, his cheek pressed against the window in the current shitty car they were inhabiting. They were stopped at a gas station and after he yawned and ran a tired hand through his shaggy hair, he saw his brother heading back towards him from the little store.

"Hey, you're up," Dean said, leaning in through the open driver's window. "Good timing, it's your turn to drive."

Sam groaned and Dean gave him a momentary grin, patting the door before heading around to the passenger side as Sam got out and stretched. "How long have I been out?"

"About ten hours. How you feeling?"

"Like I need ten more hours." He fought another yawn and accepted the water bottle that Dean handed him when he was finally settled in the driver's seat.

"We'll stop in a few hours for a motel." Dean shoved a piece of pie into his mouth unattractively. "So, dream about anything nice during your beauty rest?" he asked a little later, apparently in the mood for conversation though he was looking ready to fall asleep.

Sam thought for a minute. He didn't remember much about his dream. Just glimpses of hellfire and Lucifer drifting around. He could vaguely remember Lucifer's voice saying something to him… "Yeah. I did actually," he muttered with a faint smile.

"That's a good sign," Dean mused, crossing his arms and leaning his head against his door.

"Yeah…" He opened his mouth to say something else, but one glance at Dean said that his brother was already down for the count. Sam sighed and stared ahead, hands lightly gripping the wheel. And just as the years had passed him by in Hell, so did the miles as the day turned to night. But all Sam had now were fading memories and an inexplicable emptiness inside of him.


End file.
